August 2012 CCC Entry: Telas

[black noise]

Outline
1: Introduction/Story
2: Main Deck Monster
3: Extra Deck Monster
4: Spell/Trap

1: Introduction
The archetype I decided to make is known as Telas (the Latin word for spin). For those who don't know what the term "spin" means in YGO, it means to put a card back on the top of the deck. This term was originally inspired by the Storm Monarch Raiza. There aren't many cards that put cards to the top of the deck so I decided to make an archetype around this concept. The archetype consists of wind attribute and beast-warrior type monsters. Some of the beast-warrior monsters of the archetype are retrained versions of non-effect beast-warrior monsters. The main purpose of the archetype is to Return cards on the field and in the hand to the top of either player's deck face-up. The only card in existence right now that puts cards face-up in the deck is Parasite Paracide which i drew inspiration from. By combining both ideas I have come up with this archetype which would take advantage of this playstyle.

The story behind the archetype revolves around Telas Grunt - Garoo. He joins the bandit army known as Telas (a group of outcast and feared beast-warriors) lead by Sen Gen who carrries Millennium Items. He is not liked by many because he is a reptile and not a mammal. Only Telas Grunt- Felin accepts him, even after she becomes a leader of the group. After many victories, he eventually is accepted by all and becomes the field-commander of the group after the death of Telas Commander - Manti. Unknown to Garoo, Sen Gen has been using the Millennium Items to further his goals of immortality by sacrificing his followers. Once Garoo finds out, he battles and defeats Sen Gen becoming the new leader of Telas. Under new leadership, Telas makes peace with the factions they had been warring with.

2: Monster

Telas Grunt - Sted
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 3, ATK: 1000, DEF: 1000
When this card is normal summoned, target 1 set Spell/Trap card on the field and place it face-up on the top of the owner's deck. The turn you activate this effect, this monster cannot be used to Xyz or Synchro Summon. While this card is face-up on the field, during the draw phase before a player draws, if a player would draw a face-up card, add that card to that player's hand and inflict 700 damage to the opponent of this card. That player then draws for the draw phase. This effect can only be used once while this card is face-up.

Telas Grunt - Bor
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 3, ATK: 500, DEF: 500
When this card is normal summoned, target 1 face-up monster card on the field and place it face-up on the top of the owner's deck. The turn you activate this effect, this monster cannot be used to Xyz or Synchro Summon. While this card is face-up on the field, during the draw phase before a player draws, if a player would draw a face-up card, add that card to that player's hand and increase the ATK of all "Telas" monsters by 400. That player then draws for the draw phase. This effect can only be used once while this card is face-up.

Telas Grunt - Fant
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 4, ATK: 1500, DEF: 1200
While this card is face-up on the field, during the draw phase before a player draws, if a player would draw a face-up card, add that card to that player's hand and banish 1 card in either player's graveyard. That player then draws for the draw phase. This effect can only be used once while this card is face-up. If this face-up card is added from the deck to the hand, you can special summon this card.

Telas Grunt - Felin
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 4, ATK: 1200, DEF: 2000
When this card is normal summoned, target 1 face-up Spell/Trap card on the field and place it face-up on the top of the owner's deck. The turn you activate this effect, this monster cannot be used to Xyz or Synchro Summon. While this card is face-up on the field, during the draw phase before a player draws, if a player would draw a face-up card, add that card to that player's hand and increase the controller of this card's Lifepoints by 1000. That player then draws for the draw phase. This effect can only be used once while this card is face-up.

Telas Grunt - Garoo (retrained Garoozis)
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 4, ATK: 1800, DEF: 1500
Once per turn, if a player has a face-up card on the top of their deck, you can send that card to the graveyard. While this card is face-up on the field, when a face-up card is added to a player's hand, the controller of this card draws 1 card. This effect can only be used once while this card is face-up.

Telas Commander - Manti
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 5, ATK: 2100, DEF: 1300
You can special summon this card (from your hand) if you control a face-up "Telas" monster. While this card is face-up on the field, when a face-up card is added to a player's hand discard that card. This effect can only be used once while this card is face-up.

Telas Cheiftain - Sen Gen (retrained Sengenjin)
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Level: 8, ATK: 2750, DEF: 2500
You can only control 1 face-up "Telas Cheiftain - Sen Gen." You can special summmon this card from your hand or graveyard by sending 2 face-up "Telas" cards (except "Telas Cheiftain - Sen Gen") to the Graveyard. Once per turn, you can send 1 "Telas" card (except "Telas Cheiftain - Sen Gen") from your hand to graveyard to select 1 card in your opponent's hand and put it face-up on top of their deck. This card cannot attack the turn it activates this effect and the effect of "Telas Cheiftain - Sen Gen" can only be activated once per turn.

3. Extra Deck Monster
Telas Field Commander - Wyrm-Knight Garo
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Rank: 5, ATK: 2600, DEF: 1900
2 Level 5 Monsters
You can also Xyz summon this card by using "Telas Grunt - Garoo" and another "Telas" monster whose has a different level. This monster gains 400 ATK while it has Xyz materials. Once per turn, during either player's turn, when a card would be sent to the deck: You can detach 1 Xyz material to banish that card instead.

Telas Doctorine - Felin
Wind/Beast-Warrior
Rank: 4, ATK: 1700, DEF: 2500
2 Level 4 Monsters
Once per turn, during either player's turn, you can detach 1 Xyz material from this card and target 1 face-up "Telas" card you control. For the rest of the turn, that card cannot be destroyed by card effects or by battle.

4. Spell/Trap
Telas Recruitment
Normal Spell
Add 1 "Telas" card from your deck to your hand.

Unwanted Telas
Trap Card
During the turn this card is activated, you can normal summon 1 "Telas" monster in addition to your normal summon or set this turn.

Telas Ascension
Quick-Play Spell
Target 1 face-up "Telas" monster, until the end phase, that monster can be used as 2 Xyz materials when used in a Xyz summon.

Telas Unholy Ceremony
Normal Trap
Banish 1 face-up "Telas" monster to special summon 1 "Telas Cheiftain - Sen Gen" from your deck.

Telas Reversal
Counter Trap
Activate while you control a face-up "Telas" monster. Negate the effect of Trap card effect or a Effect monster's effect.

Telas Destiny
This effect can only be applied while you control a face-up "Telas" monster. Once per turn, you can pay 1000 Lifepoints and declare 1 Attribute. Monsters of the declared Attribute(s) cannot battle face-up "Telas" monsters.

[StrangeCase71]

It is an interesting and original idea, I like it.

However, some of the cards are just too overpowered. Every time you place an opponent's card on top of your Deck you are essentially inflicting a -2 (-1 for the loss of the monster, -1 for the loss of the draw) on them plus whatever additional bonuses you get when they draw it like a +1 from Garo. I know they are somewhat balanced by the fact that they generally have low ATK/DEF, you're still getting pretty major bonuses. All other cards that place cards on the top of the opponent's Deck typically have a cost involved - I think you could balance these cards by that being the case here as well.

[black noise]

Ok let me explain how they work. Each of the monsters have an effect where before either player would draw in the draw phase add that face-up card to the hand. Since the player hasnt drawn yet, they would still draw in the draw phase for the regular turn. I probably should reword the text to better specify that.

[Blimp123]

I love the intro, I love the story, I love how you implemented retrained monsters, and I love the cards' effects.

You balanced the cards quite well, and they still have good, competitive effects.

The only change I'll suggest is to remove the "That player then draws for the Draw Phase" from Garo, since Garo's effect could activate outside of the Draw Phase, such as when your opponent activates Upstart Goblin. Plus, since Garo is the hero, he deserves to make the opponent grieve from drawing the same card again

[black noise]

Thanks for the input. It took awhile for me to figure out how to balance them but still make them competitive. As for your suggestion about Garo, I reread him and I see what you were talking about and i will fix that immediately

[manicania]

Grave Lure also puts cards in the deck face-up. Parasite Paracide is not the only card. Also, Convuslion of Nature flips the decks upside down, which basically makes every card in the deck face-up.

Some things I would change (personally):
1.There's almost no weakness or drawback to these cards abilities. It's just "Gain this effect, gain that effect." And no "pay this" or "you can't do this". A couple of them have small weakness like not being able to Xyz or Synchro with them, but I don't think that's a major downside to using an extremely good effect.

2.If I were to make this archetype, I would definitely make it a "both players" thing. Where returning cards to the top of the deck is done by both players. It honestly got kind of boring for me reading "to the top of your opponents deck", why not make it so both players are affected by it in some ways.

3.The idea of putting a card on top of your opponents deck face-up makes Mind Crush a staple in this deck, as it would be incredibly easy to know what your opponent has in their hand. And with very few natural weaknesses, that's just too broken for me.

So basically I would give the cards some drawbacks or bigger weaknesses, make it more geared towards both players, and make it a little less broken.

[black noise]

Never even heard of Grave Lure lol but ok i see your point Parasite Paracide isn't the only one. I'm not going to count Convulsion of Nature because as you said it flips the whole deck face-up not just 1 card. First off I will say thanks for the criticism. I see your points I will address each of them and give my reasoning and defense.

1) The major weakness of the deck is that if your opponent doesn't commit to the field you will be returning your own cards to the top of your deck. You say that the cards don't have enough downside but lets be for real this is a combo deck. Each card by itself is not singularly broken. From what I've seen the worse case scenario is if you have Ultimate Offering in play and even that isnt all that bad because this deck cant OTK or massively search for cards. To me, having sted, bor and felin not able to be used in xyz or synchro summon the turn they use their normal summon effect is a good way to balance them out.

2)You might want reread the cards because only one of of the cards actually says opponent. As I also stated, if your opponent has no cards on the field and you summon sted, bor or felin you will have to Return your own card to the top of the deck which is effective a negative 1, especially if your monster doesnt survive til your next draw phase. If you think thats boring you should read the Inzektor card effects.

3)What's wrong with making Mind Crush a staple in another deck besides dark world lol. If anything thats a -1 on your part because you had to use 2 cards just to get rid of 1 card (1 from the effect of a telas monster, 1 from Mind Crush).

The major weaknesses of this archetype are similar to other combo decks that rely on little monsters to do things. Skill Drain, king tiger, Effect Veiler, etc. Also if you have a way to change the position of the card that is being targeted (like flipping it face-down or face-up or even chaining it) you pretty much force them to waste a play. The weakness you say this deck lacks to me are everywhere and easy to exploit. But I will continue to examine the cards I created to see if they really are broken or not.

Keep the comments and criticism coming. The more the better.

[manicania]

Never even heard of Grave Lure lol but ok i see your point Parasite Paracide isn't the only one. I'm not going to count Convulsion of Nature because as you said it flips the whole deck face-up not just 1 card. First off I will say thanks for the criticism. I see your points I will address each of them and give my reasoning and defense.

1) The major weakness of the deck is that if your opponent doesn't commit to the field you will be returning your own cards to the top of your deck. You say that the cards don't have enough downside but lets be for real this is a combo deck. Each card by itself is not singularly broken. From what I've seen the worse case scenario is if you have Ultimate Offering in play and even that isnt all that bad because this deck cant OTK or massively search for cards. To me, having sted, bor and felin not able to be used in xyz or synchro summon the turn they use their normal summon effect is a good way to balance them out.

2)You might want reread the cards because only one of of the cards actually says opponent. As I also stated, if your opponent has no cards on the field and you summon sted, bor or felin you will have to Return your own card to the top of the deck which is effective a negative 1, especially if your monster doesnt survive til your next draw phase. If you think thats boring you should read the Inzektor card effects.

3)What's wrong with making Mind Crush a staple in another deck besides dark world lol. If anything thats a -1 on your part because you had to use 2 cards just to get rid of 1 card (1 from the effect of a telas monster, 1 from Mind Crush).

The major weaknesses of this archetype are similar to other combo decks that rely on little monsters to do things. Skill Drain, king tiger, Effect Veiler, etc. Also if you have a way to change the position of the card that is being targeted (like flipping it face-down or face-up or even chaining it) you pretty much force them to waste a play. The weakness you say this deck lacks to me are everywhere and easy to exploit. But I will continue to examine the cards I created to see if they really are broken or not.

Keep the comments and criticism coming. The more the better.

well played sir. Lol, I wasn't sure if they hsd to be facew-up for their effects to resolve. Anyway, yeah, you right.

[Jackal Knight]

I LOVE the story you came up for this. The cards are also a cool strategy. I do have two small suggestions.

1. I would change the name of "Garo" to "Garoo". I say that because I think it would sound closer to Garoozis that way.

2. You could change the wording of text from "that player then draws for the draw phase" to "that player then conducts their normal draw." I think it would be easier to read and would be a little less confusing. But that's just my opinion; it might sound better to you the way you have.

[black noise]

Made the change from garo to garoo for consistence with the original card. As for your 2nd point idk if that is any better than what you had. I would like to hear other people's thoughts and see if they are confused with it.