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View Full Version : Can you eat Cheese or drink Milk? Strap an 'X' to your belt then...


Gary Oak
06-10-2005, 10:02 AM
That's right, if you can eat cheese, drink milk or in general intake dairy products, you are a MUTANT. ^^

So, get your 'X' Belt Buckles and PVC Costumes ready and dig out those Geordie La Forge Liscenced Space Glasses things and prepare to blast eye beams at fellow freaks.

Full scoop:


The ability to digest milk, cheese and other dairy products is mostly down to your ethnicity, according to researchers at Cornell University. Northern Europeans are far more likely to have a genetic mutation that allows them to digest milk, than are those from Africa, or Asia, the team found.

In a study looking at the prevalence of lactose intolerance, the scientists discovered that people from cultures with a strong dairy farming tradition, incidences were as low at two per cent of the population. But those whose families hail from regions of extreme temperatures, where farming is difficult and animals are carriers of many diseases, close to 100 per cent of people were unable to digest milk properly.

To digest milk, you need to produce the enzyme lactase. Virtually all human infants can make lactase, for rather obvious reasons, but only genetic mutants continue producing it into adulthood. The mutation is particularly rare in Asian and African populations, but very common among Northern Europeans. In total, the study found that around 61 per cent of the global population is lactose intolerant.

"The implication is that harsh climates and dangerous diseases negatively impact dairy herding and geographically restrict the availability of milk, and that humans have physiologically adapted to that," commented lead researcher Paul Sherman, a professor of neurobiology and behaviour at Cornell.

But what of the implications for the technology industry? Coders are almost required by law to chow down on Pizza. Google even uses the cheesily-topped snack as part of its effort to harvest the best engineers from the US's universities.

But now we know that through no fault of their own (beyond choice of parents, and really, how much say do you get in that?) not everyone can digest milk, the accessibility of tolerable junk food becomes a matter of equal opportunities. How long before the first constructive dismissal case is launched? "They kept feeding me Pizza. I couldn't work because it made me sick..."

After all, if a company is supplying free food, doesn't it have an obligations to make sure all genetic predispositions are catered for?

One possible approach would be to merely accelerate the outsourcing trend, and only employ programmers native to a particular region so that the junk food is naturally suitable. However, this is likely to come under fire from racial equality campaigners, and rightly so.

But then are we going to see companies specialising in lactose tolerant or intolerant employees as a method of keeping the pizza bills low? Will there be mandatory genetic testing for prospective employees? Will specialist companies spring up to import junk food more suitable for the pizza-intolerant?

The researchers at Cornell may not realise it, but this study has opened up a whole can of worms. Speaking of which, can we offer you a worm? Or would you prefer a pizza? ®
http://www.theregister.com/2005/06/10/cheese_digestion/

RLRL
06-10-2005, 10:09 AM
So for once one of my flaws works against me being a mutant, although stupidly enough, my lactose intolerance is held only within milk, as i can have quite alot of cheese before i become queasy, and any milk i have makes me wanna die...

pohatufan1returns
06-10-2005, 10:40 AM
Step aside, Wolverine -- THE MILKMAN COMETH!!

I hope I'm not shunned for my powers now. I hope the rest of the world doesn't demonize me, fearing that I might use my superhuman abilities to wreak havoc upon Civilization as we know it. I mean, really -- just because I can digest the world's greatest non-carbonated beverage, that doesn't mean I could become some kind of supervillain, right? Magneto wouldn't want me on his team, would he? Of course not! *nervous chuckle* Of course not, and now I am going to go... not join the Brotherhood of Mutants. Good day.

Prof. Cinders
06-10-2005, 10:46 AM
Ah man, I thought I might be able to fly some day... j/k

Mutants! I had no idea it was like that, but that would explain what the Send a Cow charity was talking about the oher day... Those African communities need cows, but couldn't drink the milk. They didn't tell us why. Thanks for the info! *runs off to yell mutant in friend's ear*

baratron
06-10-2005, 12:18 PM
That's not news - it was in New Scientist in January 2002 (http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn1787) (full article (http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=mg17323261.700)).

My lactose intolerance has got worse over the years - at first I could still drink milk as long as I took lactase enzyme. Then I had to switch to soy milk (which I hated) but could still have limited amounts of butter and cheese as long as I took lactase. Then I had to cut down to cheese only once a week, then once every two weeks... and I'm now one of the severely lactose intolerant people who can eat nothing with dairy in and has to be careful even with medicines containing lactose. This is joyous, as 3 of my prescription drugs can't be obtained in a non-lactose form, so I have to juggle pills with meals and ginger biscuits in an attempt to actually be able to take them. Fun.

RLRL - milk and soft cheeses contain the most lactose of all dairy products. Live yogurt and hard cheese has comparatively little, because the bacteria that are present in the yogurt or the cheese-making process eat the lactose and turn it to lactic acid. Also, for some reason, milk with chocolate flavouring is easier to digest. As you get older you'll probably find you have trouble with cheese as well, but fortunately vegan cheese that tastes like cheese (http://www.redwoodfoods.co.uk/products/cheezly/content.php) exists now. There are quite a few non-dairy ice creams around as well, some better than others. Let me know if you want recommendations or recipes.

Blaziking
06-10-2005, 01:27 PM
Hahahahahahaahahahahaha... Wait a minute. You're serious, right Gary? Those really ARE scientists that said all that... stuff?! Man, what I won't hear these days.

I LOVE dairy products! I can drink as much milk as... well, the guy who can drink the most milk in the world. Cheese also, depending on what type they are. Some cheeses I just don't like but I can always digest them well. And ice-cream! Ice-cream is one of my favorite foods of all time! If it can be called a food. You know what, I've actually got some downstairs. I'll be back in a minute, just to get some of it...

ZAKtheGeek
06-10-2005, 02:27 PM
I'm not lactose intolerant, but I don't like most dairy products. I don't like milk, for instance. Does this meant hat I can blend in with the normies?

Pff, screw that, clearly the ability to digest lactose is an advantage and should therefore be naturally selected for. The "mutants" are the slightly evolved strain of human. it's too bad human reproduction doesn't work under the principles that ensure that useful genetic variations are passed on in larger proportion to the next generation.

Lugiasian
06-10-2005, 03:25 PM
Ph33r my milk-and-cheese comsuming p0w3rz!!! >=D

It's funny for me; I can digest it normally. It's weird how certain people can't eat certain stuff that many people eat. Like Elliot. He can't eat anything without breaking out in rashes or hives or something....

I'm surprised he's not allergic to water yet. :p

And Zak--I forgot what that was called. >.< Natural selection or something like that? Not sure, but I'm almost sure it had 'selection' in it.

ZAKtheGeek
06-10-2005, 03:44 PM
Well I did write "naturally selected for," so yes, I was referring to natural selection.

Andurin
06-10-2005, 04:37 PM
*takes a cracker with some soft cheese, chugs a bottle of milk, continues to eat the crackers, then reads this article*

OH NOES!!!11one I r t3h mutant! Cower beneathe me you non-milk eating people!

Coco
06-10-2005, 04:51 PM
Im glad Scientists are telling us we are mutants instead of curing Aids, Cancer and other such minor things.

What a rewarding job.

PKS LeeTupper
06-10-2005, 04:51 PM
Homo Superior, I AM! Not only can I digest milk, but I also can grow a beard at twice the normal rate!

Linkachu
06-10-2005, 06:11 PM
Coders are almost required by law to chow down on Pizza. Google even uses the cheesily-topped snack as part of its effort to harvest the best engineers from the US's universities.

Awesome :D

I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't eat pizza. Playing TMNT just wouldn't be the same ;p

This article reminds me of something I once heard about wisdom teeth. Supposedly people who don't have them have evolved beyond others that do. Makes you feel special, eh?

ZAKtheGeek
06-10-2005, 06:47 PM
Im glad Scientists are telling us we are mutants instead of curing Aids, Cancer and other such minor things.
Me too, because the word "scientist" is clearly very nonvariable and therefore the very same scientists that were researching this would obviously have had to have the expertise to search for cures to deadly modern diseases.

baratron
06-11-2005, 02:37 PM
Meh.

Research into human genetics is part of the Human Genome Project - the project to map all the genes in the human body, and find out what they do. The map part is done, but the roles of all the genes are nowhere near certain. This is not easy work because something like 50 or 75% of our genes (I've forgotten the exact number) appear to do absolutely nothing, and many of the others work in tandem.

It might seem entirely pointless to research the genetics of milk tolerance and intolerance, but it's part of finding out how we work. And better understanding of the human genome may eventually lead to cures for cancer, as we find out exactly how it's caused. There are already drugs in clinical trials which target the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, implicated in 20% of cases of hereditary breast cancer, and some unknown percentage of prostate cancer. That's a nontrivial number of people who will be helped, if the drugs are safe enough for use.

</rant>

praetoritevong
06-12-2005, 06:48 PM
Ohh boy. Like the article said, lawsuits galore potentially. Thank god many people don't read New Scientist. -.-; The number of ridiculous lawsuits is amazing. I myself have no problem with dairy products...